I had the
weirdest dream last night; it consisted of several parts, very busy,
but I couldn’t remember most of it. The part I did remember was
that I was standing on the beach in this flowing dress, holding a
blue veil blowing in the wind. It was very long and kept bouncing
off the sand, but as I held it, blowing in the wind behind me, I
brought it over my head and it waved behind me, again touching the
sand.
I told it to
William and he immediately had an interpretation for it: “you
standing on the beach represents you in the world putting your face
toward God. The veil is the Spirit of God who protects and gives
vision and sanctifies you. As you draw close to God, the veil is
brought over you – the Holy Spirit. The wind is the cleansing of
the Spirit, to perform the deeds of God. As you allow the Spirit to
remove all of your past, you become empowered and used more and more
by God. The veil blowing in length, is the past being put farther
and farther behind you. When it touches the sand, it is the Spirit
of God flowing out of you touching the people God will use you for
reaching. The sand represents the souls of men and women who will be
changed by that. Keep yourself in His presence!”
Which reminded me
of another dream I had a few weeks ago; I can’t remember exactly
when, but I don’t think it was past the middle of March. It was
very vivid; I was lying in a bed, covered in blankets. I looked down
on myself and saw a baby rattler slithering up toward me. In the
next scene, I was standing outside and I saw this same baby rattler
trying to get on me; it came up on me and ended up on my back right
shoulder about ready to bite me on my upper arm. At that same time
while it was crawling up on me, I noticed William aways off and I was
trying to get to him before it crawled up on me to get it off. I got
to him just as it got to my shoulder about to bite. I had him swat
it off. I kept hearing the words: “be vigilant, be vigilant”
over and over throughout the dream. Then I woke up, not really
afraid, no fear really, just irritated more than anything. That
morning, I told William the dream and he immediately had an
interpretation. “A baby rattler is more poisonous than a full
grown one. It represents the enemy, trying to get to us, on us, and
stop us. It is persistent, but we are to be on guard, be vigilant,
so he doesn’t inflict his poison into us and stop us from doing
what God wants us to do.”
Pear and Cherry blossoms in the orchard! |
I continue to
read I and II Samuel. I find that David’s heart is so pure, how
can we even attain to such? In looking at the life of Christ, I see
His whole life as so pure, how can we even attain to such? The
answer, of course, is that we can’t on our own. Jesus has and
always will be the answer. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, can
we be made into the new creation that God promised.
So, in reading
through the beautiful poetry of “the Song of the Bow” as it is
called (II Sam. 1:18-27), shows us the true heart of David – that
he had no animosity toward Saul for all the years (14 years running
from Saul/22 years to wait according to the commentators – first
anointed at age 16 and he was 38 when he became king) of suffering at
his hands. What also struck me in that through his writings (the
psalms), David worked through his anger, dismay, hurt, fear, etc. by
writing. He got it out in the open, dealt with it, then was done.
That is how it’s been in my life – I have always kept journals,
and through all the years of abuse I suffered, I used the pen to
purge out all the anger, dismay, hurt, fear, etc. in my own life, so
as to not let bitterness take root and destroy me. I used that tool
of writing to work through all the negative in my world, re-focus on
God and all the positives in my life, thus then, to grow in Christ
through the power of the Holy Spirit, to overcome and to emerge in
power, joy, and in victory.
My character
changed and grew through the years of misery. Sure, I called the
years of the 90’s “my anger decade” where my endurance was
tested through the injustice and misery I experienced of my
situation, but I didn’t remain a victim, I emerged with a better
character, which is why I love that verse in II Peter 1:3-11 (ESV):
His divine power has granted to us all
things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of
him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has
granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through
them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped
from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with
virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control,
and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with
godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly
affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are
increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the
knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities
is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was
cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more
diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice
these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be
richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our
Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
In seeing how
David waited patiently over those 7 ½ years of ruling only Judah
(rather than the promised entire kingdom), I see how in all
circumstances, I have to wait on God’s timing and not try to take
it in my own power, and thus, get out of God’s will. God has a
timing for all He does. William and I have been in waiting now for 4
years, waiting until God said to “Go” and take the Rogue Valley
in Jesus’ name. William’s time (2003-13) and mine (2008-13)
there was a time of preparation, learning, and laying the groundwork,
thus, not wasted. God has confirmed His call on us to get back to
preaching by not only sustaining us all these years, then providing
ALL that we need (though on paper, we’ve lived in extreme poverty),
we’ve been more richly blessed in all aspects (rich doesn’t
always mean money!!), we have all that we need and count it all joy
to live the way we do. But God is showing us that money is
increasing through my work online – for the first time in years, I
am booked with classes through August and pay through September!
That hasn’t happened since 2010.
In regard to
worship, the work we do for God, our worship of Him must be according
to His plan. Ignorance isn’t acceptable (Matt. 22:29, regarding
ignorance of the OT or God’s power) in 1 Samuel 6, we learn that
David was ignorant of how to handle the Ark of the Covenant which
represented God’s Divine Presence to the people at that time.
Today, are we any different when we come to God’s table? When we
take communion, we must come with a pure heart – one empty of self
– we cannot take this lightly or with carelessness. We come to
communion after doing a search of our hearts, to come to God asking
for forgiveness of all unclean things in our life, then we can
partake (I Cor. 11:18-32). Then we can enter into this time of
joyful worship to God in true thankfulness. Overall, what I learn
from David is that we are continually engaged in spiritual warfare
(Eph. 6:10-18) and in order to overcome, we must have our spiritual
armor on (Rom. 8:35-39).
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