More Problems

 

Feb. 8 – been watching a lot of videos from “Turning Point”, listening to Mario Marillo and Kent Christmas – awesome what God is doing now!

I finally had to send an e-mail to Denessa about what’s going on in the school. Again, secret whispering, I’m the ‘bad guy’ because I am trying to get kids to do their work (for THEIR good, not mine), create specialized work geared to the kids, keep track of how the other kids are doing, but they argue with me, back talk, say no, etc. and etc. and I’m made out to be the bad guy! I’m trying to do everything I can (lots of extra time creating lessons, etc.) to HELP everyone and I get lied about and persecuted! So I sent an e-mail to Denessa, because I’m tired of this – so tired, I don’t want to do this anymore!:

“I feel like my hands are tied - no matter which way I go, I get complaints. I am a problem-solver and will come up with a solution ... if people will work with me on it!
You have already witnessed my tendency: I am an over-achiever, give 100+%, and 'get right on it' when I see a problem; I look at the big picture of everything, then take it apart to each and every detail and line 'all the ducks in a row'. I did this when we opened the school, I did this when presenting the curriculum, discussions at parent meetings, wrote everything they wanted down and ran with it. When it all didn't work as expected, again from discussions and experimentation, We did as asked: 'backed off' curriculum intensity, more group 'fill in the gaps' with math and language arts, fun days/extra learning days, focus on the 3-R's. We have both put in a ton of time, effort, and $$ in to each and every aspect of WHAT THEY ASKED FOR! I have asked for co-operation for months on their part - we need more help - I put it on the parents with the most need! I expect them to jump on it (we've waited for months and we have had to do it all FOR THEM!) I expect them to exhibit some responsibility and now my hands are tied because I've done what they've asked for - now what??? They agreed that they didn't want mediocre - isn't that what the public schools offer? Why should we back down our standards (that all agreed to) from high achievement ON ALL PARTS, ' doing our best' attitude to cater to some who want to stay at mediocre? They need to make a choice! I'm there to help, not waste my time or argue. I was very much reminded yesterday and today why I retired in the first place!

Am I seeing this wrong? What now?”

I’m at a loss – I don’t know what to do. As it was, almost every kid was way behind grade level that they wanted to sign up for and I told every parent to start with the year before, but NOOOOOOOO, they wanted what they wanted and I tried to work with what they wanted. Then there was overwhelmed, blow-outs last fall/early winter because everything was too hard! Imagine that! I warned them! I tried to help by throwing in weekly English lessons that they ALL needed to know and were already touching on in their own books – just an extra help! The parents complained that I was giving extra work! It was in THEIR OWN ENGLISH BOOKS! All I got was complaints for this or that reason! I again backed off! I am so stressed about everything that I don’t want to do this anymore – if they don’t want my help, don’t want my suggestions (which were right – proven so) – then what am I doing there!? I’m only doing this because God says to and because Denessa needs help.

Feb. 20 – Sometimes I feel that we are so ‘out of the action’ when I watch the awesome Canadians fight for their country and for the Australians and the horrors they are going through now, that I don’t feel I’m doing enough to ‘support the cause’ so to say. However, just starting the school and doing 2 to 3 days a week in teaching (exhausting as it is) is doing my part, just as important to standing up in a protest like that. I just sit there and cheer on the Canadians, Australians, or any other culture standing up for what is right. 

 Sometimes however, (like 2 weeks ago especially) I realized why I retired in the first place – I came back home just a squawking away about other people’s bratty kids and how I can’t stand sassiness, etc. and etc. But, this last week was a good one overall – the kids weren’t too bratty. It was cool watching the baby chicks grow (doubled in a week) in size. They hatched (3 of a dozen eggs) on day 24 – last Friday and today are 9 days old. They already have their wing feathers and some of their tail feathers and are trying to fly out of the box! The first day, we kept them in the incubator the entire day (we came to school and found 2 hatched and a 3^rd trying) and that evening put them in a tote with straw and heat lamp. I had to go in that evening and the next day and teach them how to eat (grind up their feed) and drink. I rather enjoyed the process. They were so cute and tiny (2 black with yellow head –top, and another yellow and bigger – banties and maybe a sexlink?) fluff balls. They’ve doubled in size in a week.

The other thing is where I know I’m helping, just need to get the word out, is with Cheryl’s web page: http://freedomstars.shop – Cheryl and Eli don’t make much money, so I’m trying to help them out by building this page for them – Cheryl’s been busy making stars (she’s made over 800 so far) but I haven’t sold a one for her yet. I’ve advertised them on Gab and get a lot of likes and visits to the website, but no sales. I don’t know why. I’ve sunk over $60 into it so far and Cheryl all this time making so many, I don’t want it to fail, but I don’t know what else to do – I can’t advertise the normal ways like Facebook and Google since they are the ‘bad’ guys and it will be tagged and taken down and attacked. At least this way, going through conservative channels and keeping a low profile, I can keep it out there for awhile and hopefully make her some $$ (I had hoped to sell 10,000 at least).

I have had to finally ‘give up’ on my family (took me a long time mentally, etc. to get here). I had been calling mom every week even tho since Christmas, she won’t talk to me. She totally changed since Laura moved in with her – mom was listening to reason and truth prior (about the mask, vaxccine, political stuff), never had a problem going to visit, never had to wear a mask before, never was she this paranoid; anyway, I also tried calling Albert, but this time like the other few times I’ve tried, he won’t answer nor will he return my call. So, I’m done. I won’t call any more – they don’t want to hear from me, their loss. I’ll continue to pray for them and believe God for their salvation and one day, they may see the truth of everything; however, I can no longer try to associate with them. They chose that, so I will comply. I haven’t heard from my granddaughter for a couple weeks. I don’t know what the deal is with that – why she contacted me to begin with, does her mother know? If so, why won’t she call? What lies is she telling her? Etc. and etc. The whole thing is too complicated and I’m at the ‘oh well’ stage and don’t care any longer. I’m glad sheis in touch with me and hopes she will continue. I’ll just wait for her to contact me again.