Catch-up

 I normally don't post 2 in one day but ...

I haven't updated this blog since Nov. of 2020.  I kept my journal all that time; however, I just never uploaded anything, because a friend and I started a new school in our community and it took all my extra time.  I have posted several posts catching you up ... do check them out :)

Trying to re-focus on God and not things/people!

 

March 19 – The twins have been acting much better since we’ve had our talk; however, I’ve been ostracized by most everyone else in the school! Even the 6th grade boy and his mom quit coming on Mon. and Tues.! I don’t know what to do about this! I haven’t done anything wrong and no one is coming to me personally and telling me why they are tiffed! Except the 6th grader's mom, saying that the twins are too disrespectful and pick on her son and they don’t want to work with them. I need to actually be working with him by himself because he really is at a different level, yet not at his grade level. But I don’t have the time to work with him, because the twins need constant babysitting! Thank goodness for Spring Break, because I need to get away from there! I’ll be going in this week though to clean the entire place! Do I even get appreciated for anything I do? NOOOOOOOOOO

My granddaughter contacted me several times this past week and a half – she’s been doing a lot of horse camp stuff - learning a lot about horses, cleaning, learning various ways of riding, whatever they do at a horse camp. She sent me a picture of herself after a particularly dirty day. I’m so glad at least one of my family is talking to me. I’ve spent 2 months trying to call my mom and she won’t answer or return my calls, so by the end of February, I quit calling. They know where I am. My daughter, Laura, texted me ‘happy birthday’ Feb. 27th – no ‘mom’ attached or anything – just generic. She’s not talking with me either. Just like the Bible says, that “in that day, their hearts will be cold” … This is a spiritual battle and the battle belongs to the Lord. The only thing I can do is to keep praying and interceding for them.

William and I have been excitedly talking about a new (and I think is the correct one) spin on Daniel and Revelations. Now, all along, we always knew that Revelations – the Revealing of Jesus – isn’t a doomsday book – it’s where God’s people are given revelation, as they need it, to make it through to the end. We are almost to the end – what if ‘they’ got it all wrong. I was raised Seventh-day Adventist, went to the academy, etc. and etc. I’ve always, since a kid, been a scholar of the ‘end days’, because since I was a kid, I believed I was living in the last days. The ‘Cabal’ is the Babylon spoken of on Revelations! That is what is being exposed and coming down now! It is the World System, the One World Order (and the leaders thereof) that are the anti-Christ! Yes, one world leader will rise up – tribulation; however, being tied to that money, global system is Babylon – and anyone bowing to that evil (Mark of the Beast – the ‘jab’ is so full of evil stuff!), going along with the system (so as not to ‘make waves’, compromising, giving in so as not to ‘look bad’ to others, etc.) in any way is taking the Mark! Now is the time to stand for truth in all its forms!

Anyway, we have been preaching for years that we are about to see the greatest revival the world has ever seen – and we are finally there! World revival is sparking out everywhere and before the next few years is out, the world-wide revival will be so huge, so encompassing, that there will be no where left on earth that hasn’t heard about Jesus. Signs, miracles, and wonders are happening all over, the dead are being raised – over 600 by David Hogan’s group alone (Mexico)! God has to expose truth (doing that now world-wide) in all aspects of life to everyone in order to pour out his judgment on the unbelievers. The line is being drawn now! You’re either on the side of ‘good’ or on the side of ‘evil’ – there is no more fence-riding! There will a period of time (7 more years, 40 more years?) of God’s Kingdom in action all over the globe, then the tribulation, then Jesus comes and establishes his 1,000 year Kingdom as it says in the Word. We’ve been watching the ‘Two Prophets’ Youtube channel – all the world catastrophes going on the past couple years – unprecedented. The earth is ‘groaning’ already! King Jesus is about to establish is Kingdom on this earth! Very little time is left – the evil ones are being exposed at a rapid rate now, but they will still do more damage as they ‘go out the door’. We cannot be side-tracked by that; but rather, keep focused on God and Truth! The evil has to be exposed (the old house torn down) in order to ‘clean up’ the mess (rebuild the house). There are the people being killed for sacrifice (in the thousands daily/weekly) by the Cabal and all the Satanists around the globe (abortion AND all the other ritual killings, as well as the innocent who, for exposing it, get killed) – it’s a fact – the underground (tunnels, DOMs) world was huge (are being taken out, several already, more to come) and that evil society is coming down in Jesus’ name! This news if finally being exposed to the main masses (hidden by the fake news for so long) by this Ukraine war – the Russians are the good guys! They are targeting and exposing the evil that the ‘elites’ of the world have created in the Ukraine! God has finally had enough and is cleaning house! Not only in his ‘body’, the church, but in the world. (Raw News has been a good one to watch for the truth news). Quit watching the fake news – all they do is lie! They were bought and owned a long time ago by the Cabal.

We’ve been meeting at the school every night this week for prayer – prayer for revival mostly, covering the Salem tent meetings going on right now. I went with Denessa last weekend (13^th) and was quite disappointed. I wanted to get into a fired up, prayer and praise group with lots of people and we walk into the tent across from the State House and there are 4 people in there! It didn’t get to be more than a dozen by the end of the day when we left; however, someone sent us video via Denessa’s phone on our way back and the place was full! However, our time there was well spent (in prayer) and talking with a couple people I know God set up.

I know I've been too negative lately (I'm tired of being 'beat up'!) and need to re-focus.  I know I am doing what God asked me to do during this time (the school), but it is so much harder than I expected it to be.  I need to keep my eyes on God and not what is going on around me and try to keep positive.

Does it ever end?

 

Feb. 28 – I’m so tired of everything going on at school. The 10^th grade girl and that typical teenage attitude of “I know everything, you know nothing”. I did a whole-class assignment (short story, narration – in her book even!) and she said ‘no’, so Denessa got on her about it for being disrespectful. And it blew up from there – now she says that I don’t know how to teach art or music and that she and the 10th grade boy need to take over! I don’t care, I’m so frustrated by it all anyway! I try to do a lesson and the kids won’t quit talking and listen to how to do it and then they get frustrated because they can’t do it, etc. and etc. I was giving her and the 11th grader guitar lessons, then he decides he doesn’t want to do it anymore and then she wanted to switch to Violin, which I accommodated, then she throws this fit! I actually asked the 10th grade boy way before all that if he would be willing to teach them guitar since he was far better (I don’t even practice and haven't played in years!) and he said he was too busy. I haven’t even gotten into some of my cool art assignments because of the kids’ attitude and disrespect. I’m at a loss – I don’t want to be there any longer! I’m tired of always being the bad guy when I didn’t even do anything wrong!

I share my stories with people in order to help them understand something I’m teaching Biblically, and I share them for their benefit – to see that they can overcome evil with Jesus’ help, etc.  Why am I even bothering?!   I sent Denessa another e-mail:

“I got to thinking about the episodes last fall and again now, they all began with teenagers … now we all know, they don't have a brain yet!  (it is up to us to help mold it for the good of the community as well as service to God)  You know what I mean; they think they know everything … it goes with the age – every generation for thousands of years.  Why in the wide, wide, world of sports do these parents not see that 'the teenagers' speak and everyone bowed down and repeated the gossip, spreading the poison … covertly, of course.  Creating the fall guy for everyone to tread lightly around, wishing they wern’t there ….  I see the 'spiritual side' of this – which is what the repeated battles are – war which “isn't of flesh and blood, but of spiritual forces ...”  Everyone needs to quit doing the narrative the rest of the country is doing – divide and destroy – the very thing they are all out there going to meetings and protests about – they themselves are propagating within the walls of the church/school that GOD CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE!  You know the spiritual beginnings of this whole undertaking and not only that, but the incredible wisdom and insight God gave us both in putting this whole thing together.  Never has a project gone so well for me – and I've been on tons of boards, committees, etc. and etc. and held office, etc. and etc. projects galore in the past – but God's hand was on this thing from the get-go.  Now, it is up to US, the physical/spiritual leaders to keep in prayer AND to squash this snake for what it is – to get the truth of the matter out in the open and make sure they understand that murmerings and whisperings of LIES must come to an end.  It is obvious now that I am held in distain by all now, not even trusted by the kids (I can see it) and so, I'm sorry, but they are no longer listening to me, so it comes to you to call a meeting and set this straight.  The one thing, like I said to you on Sunday, I cannot tolerate is that Witchcraft spirit and all the underlings that go with it.  That evil snake must be crushed for God to have his purpose in this building/church/school that He has created.  I have gotten prophecy from two sources now regarding our school, in relation to future events, kids, etc.) that God has a BIG purpose for us and we MUST BE UNITED ON ALL FRONTS!  I am not mad, I am distressed that we allowed this to go on by not fully addressing it last fall.  We hid it under a blanket for awhile, but no more.

I personally do not hold anger (I actually check out pretty good on that list – not to brag, but to say I do self-inventory often[I had presented Denessa with a ‘moral inventory’ list and she gave it to the kids]), but I am extremely impatient when it comes to spiritual destruction within my midst and nothing is done about it – we need to get serious about prayer (and we do along with our group, always pray for the school) and I know I was remiss in that.  The times we are in are critical for what is about to come.  Like I said yesterday, we are in the midst of rebuilding AND war AND tearing down all at the same time (Nehemiah, Ezra) and it isn't easy.  We are charged with molding the characters of these children (and their parents and grandparents) and we must keep in the forefront that we are evangelists out to save them all.  Therefore, they must be taught spiritual truths as we go along and this is a big one!

I got to thinking about how you said something about my past schools coming up – I'm wondering if they all missed the point I was making last Monday when I talked about hugging kids – the whole point I was making (my testimony in part) was that I was damaged at an early age, God healed me, and I was sent out to minister to others likewise (3rd gr. teacher) – the many damaged children I ministered to over the years was them trusting me, coming to me, opening their hearts, crying on my shoulder, and God healing them – in part or in whole at that time.  And when the national mandates went out in the early 2000's to 'not touch a kid in anyway' – my refusal at that time was to say no, I will continue to minster to these children no matter what anyone says.  I guess I didn't explain things clearly or some other message got out and got twisted … I don't know, but whatever it is, it must be killed.  Whenever I share with the kids – in whatever form: personal experiences, education (lessons I ask for), fun, whatever – I'm sharing from my 'wealth' from the goodness of my heart to increase their wealth.  The wise will take heed.  I may not be the best at 'how', but the source is ALWAYS the same – I care and I want to see change for the better in every part of our world – and this is the one part of the world I was given charge of by God Himself to accomplish.  Just like Jesus said in the word: “the world first hated me, so too will they hate you.”  This is a spiritual war that we are in because we are no of this world – Just like Jesus!

I would like you to use this and the past e-mail if needed to make sure EVERYONE involved in this school understands.  I hold no malice toward anyone, I just want to do God's will without getting sick of stress in the process – I've been feeling it come over me again the past couple days!  I don't have time, now the energy to go through a month of that again.

I found a great follow-up for the 'moral inventory' list that we should talk about (in fact, I've been going through this as well again), I've been taking free classes from Dallas Theological Seminary - just finished the Book of Jonah (this was the best one: https://courses.dts.edu/module-1/jonah-session-4/) - I'm working real hard with God to gain more patience and come up with more ideas to use with difficult people ...

Constantly renew our hearts and minds through self-evaluations – moral inventories.

Taken from the Dallas Theological Seminary's free classes:

The Book of Jonah:  https://courses.dts.edu/module-1/jonah-session-1/ ”

March 10 – Again, back-talk, kids saying “no” – when I am only trying to help them! I am so tired of this! No back-up from anyone, parents backing their kids even when they are wrong! I’ve asked for parents to come in and help (I have Mon. and Tues.) and one mom won’t help with the twins because of how mean and disrespectful they are. I’m left to myself to try to teach them (mostly against their will) and trying to keep up with what everyone else is doing. There are only 4-5 kids there on Mon. and Tues. because they don’t want to be there when I am there! This lack of unity needs to stop! Another e-mail to Denessa:

“[G] said something last week that re-focused me ... again ... that it is the souls of man that God is after.  Nothing else matters, not the daily things of this life.  Last week he just randomly said:  "Until I came to this school, I never even heard about God."  That has really stuck with me when I came in this week and worked with the boys.  They were doing pretty good Tuesday, for the most point, until afternoon - there was an issued with [G] on the playground.  Anyway, I put him in the music room for awhile to think about it - he did and came out (the others were still at recess) and we had a discussion about 'What would Jesus Do' and I reminded him that was why we keep coming in day after day (all of us) to learn how to treat each other - if the world acted like Jesus taught it, wouldn't it be a better world?  Well, this is our world, how we treat each other makes a better or worse world?  Do you like what you see out in the world?  Then why should we bring it in here? 

He seemed to think about his and agree that we should make a better world here, etc.  I think this was the first time he put 2 and 2 together with these concepts.  I hope it starts reflecting, not only the way he treats others, but maybe we need to bring this up to the entire community there for morning devotion Thurs or Fri.  Review of the moral inventory, these 12 growth indicators (other e-mail), my conversation (above), etc.  Anyway, I am trying to keep in the forefront of my mind at all times that this is all for the Glory of God and to grow His Kingdom.”

More Problems

 

Feb. 8 – been watching a lot of videos from “Turning Point”, listening to Mario Marillo and Kent Christmas – awesome what God is doing now!

I finally had to send an e-mail to Denessa about what’s going on in the school. Again, secret whispering, I’m the ‘bad guy’ because I am trying to get kids to do their work (for THEIR good, not mine), create specialized work geared to the kids, keep track of how the other kids are doing, but they argue with me, back talk, say no, etc. and etc. and I’m made out to be the bad guy! I’m trying to do everything I can (lots of extra time creating lessons, etc.) to HELP everyone and I get lied about and persecuted! So I sent an e-mail to Denessa, because I’m tired of this – so tired, I don’t want to do this anymore!:

“I feel like my hands are tied - no matter which way I go, I get complaints. I am a problem-solver and will come up with a solution ... if people will work with me on it!
You have already witnessed my tendency: I am an over-achiever, give 100+%, and 'get right on it' when I see a problem; I look at the big picture of everything, then take it apart to each and every detail and line 'all the ducks in a row'. I did this when we opened the school, I did this when presenting the curriculum, discussions at parent meetings, wrote everything they wanted down and ran with it. When it all didn't work as expected, again from discussions and experimentation, We did as asked: 'backed off' curriculum intensity, more group 'fill in the gaps' with math and language arts, fun days/extra learning days, focus on the 3-R's. We have both put in a ton of time, effort, and $$ in to each and every aspect of WHAT THEY ASKED FOR! I have asked for co-operation for months on their part - we need more help - I put it on the parents with the most need! I expect them to jump on it (we've waited for months and we have had to do it all FOR THEM!) I expect them to exhibit some responsibility and now my hands are tied because I've done what they've asked for - now what??? They agreed that they didn't want mediocre - isn't that what the public schools offer? Why should we back down our standards (that all agreed to) from high achievement ON ALL PARTS, ' doing our best' attitude to cater to some who want to stay at mediocre? They need to make a choice! I'm there to help, not waste my time or argue. I was very much reminded yesterday and today why I retired in the first place!

Am I seeing this wrong? What now?”

I’m at a loss – I don’t know what to do. As it was, almost every kid was way behind grade level that they wanted to sign up for and I told every parent to start with the year before, but NOOOOOOOO, they wanted what they wanted and I tried to work with what they wanted. Then there was overwhelmed, blow-outs last fall/early winter because everything was too hard! Imagine that! I warned them! I tried to help by throwing in weekly English lessons that they ALL needed to know and were already touching on in their own books – just an extra help! The parents complained that I was giving extra work! It was in THEIR OWN ENGLISH BOOKS! All I got was complaints for this or that reason! I again backed off! I am so stressed about everything that I don’t want to do this anymore – if they don’t want my help, don’t want my suggestions (which were right – proven so) – then what am I doing there!? I’m only doing this because God says to and because Denessa needs help.

Feb. 20 – Sometimes I feel that we are so ‘out of the action’ when I watch the awesome Canadians fight for their country and for the Australians and the horrors they are going through now, that I don’t feel I’m doing enough to ‘support the cause’ so to say. However, just starting the school and doing 2 to 3 days a week in teaching (exhausting as it is) is doing my part, just as important to standing up in a protest like that. I just sit there and cheer on the Canadians, Australians, or any other culture standing up for what is right. 

 Sometimes however, (like 2 weeks ago especially) I realized why I retired in the first place – I came back home just a squawking away about other people’s bratty kids and how I can’t stand sassiness, etc. and etc. But, this last week was a good one overall – the kids weren’t too bratty. It was cool watching the baby chicks grow (doubled in a week) in size. They hatched (3 of a dozen eggs) on day 24 – last Friday and today are 9 days old. They already have their wing feathers and some of their tail feathers and are trying to fly out of the box! The first day, we kept them in the incubator the entire day (we came to school and found 2 hatched and a 3^rd trying) and that evening put them in a tote with straw and heat lamp. I had to go in that evening and the next day and teach them how to eat (grind up their feed) and drink. I rather enjoyed the process. They were so cute and tiny (2 black with yellow head –top, and another yellow and bigger – banties and maybe a sexlink?) fluff balls. They’ve doubled in size in a week.

The other thing is where I know I’m helping, just need to get the word out, is with Cheryl’s web page: http://freedomstars.shop – Cheryl and Eli don’t make much money, so I’m trying to help them out by building this page for them – Cheryl’s been busy making stars (she’s made over 800 so far) but I haven’t sold a one for her yet. I’ve advertised them on Gab and get a lot of likes and visits to the website, but no sales. I don’t know why. I’ve sunk over $60 into it so far and Cheryl all this time making so many, I don’t want it to fail, but I don’t know what else to do – I can’t advertise the normal ways like Facebook and Google since they are the ‘bad’ guys and it will be tagged and taken down and attacked. At least this way, going through conservative channels and keeping a low profile, I can keep it out there for awhile and hopefully make her some $$ (I had hoped to sell 10,000 at least).

I have had to finally ‘give up’ on my family (took me a long time mentally, etc. to get here). I had been calling mom every week even tho since Christmas, she won’t talk to me. She totally changed since Laura moved in with her – mom was listening to reason and truth prior (about the mask, vaxccine, political stuff), never had a problem going to visit, never had to wear a mask before, never was she this paranoid; anyway, I also tried calling Albert, but this time like the other few times I’ve tried, he won’t answer nor will he return my call. So, I’m done. I won’t call any more – they don’t want to hear from me, their loss. I’ll continue to pray for them and believe God for their salvation and one day, they may see the truth of everything; however, I can no longer try to associate with them. They chose that, so I will comply. I haven’t heard from my granddaughter for a couple weeks. I don’t know what the deal is with that – why she contacted me to begin with, does her mother know? If so, why won’t she call? What lies is she telling her? Etc. and etc. The whole thing is too complicated and I’m at the ‘oh well’ stage and don’t care any longer. I’m glad sheis in touch with me and hopes she will continue. I’ll just wait for her to contact me again.

 

Proclaim the Gospel!

 

I do wish I kept up on my writing this past year – it has been so packed and so many miracles … I got way too busy with the school.

God has been telling William now for several months that we need to start back with proclaiming the Gospel through singing Christmas Carols. So in November, he mentioned to someone at the Patriot meetings that we were planning on doing this (the only date he set was Dec. 23^rd in Ashland, but said he wanted to do this in Coos County as well), did they want to be involved? Somehow, someone there took this on and set the dates and printed posters, announced it to the Patriots and started with the Dec. 4 Christmas Parade in Myrtle Point, in which our school got heavily involved in. The kids all had built in previous weeks, their Dirby cars (yearly contest held that evening at Hometown Hardware), the kids dressed up for a live nativity where someone brought in a donkey, 2 goats, 3 sheep, and the 10th grade girl had painted a portion of a camel for background – it was awesome. Anyway, caroling was scheduled for 6 pm and I assumed we were going to stand in front of the school and carol, but instead, we all got on this decorated trailer pulled by a tractor and we went through the parade caroling from the tractor. I found out later while we were singing out lungs out, no one could hear us! The whole time I was singing; however, I felt the spiritual impact of singing about Jesus, the truth, the Gospel, etc. that entire evening. Even specifically, whenever I said certain words and phrases, I felt the ‘screams’ of the enemy as he fled. Anyway, Christmas caroling was also scheduled in Bandon (18^th) and Coos Bay, North Bend (11^th). It rained while we were in Coos Bay, but about 15 or so came out to sing – same thing, I felt the Spirit around and we saw evidence of impact from what we were doing (via people stopping in the rain and listening, honking of horns as people rolled their windows down, listened as they drove by. North Bend we were inside Pony Village mall – some people just walking by stopped and sang with us. Toward the beginning while we were singing, some masked up guy got on his phone and called security to throw us out; however, security had already given permission AND he liked it! I know great warfare was taking place throughout each caroling event.

A side topic dealt with Max’s ex-wife who had moved back into the area last summer. A couple time she had tried to connect with me over the months, but I found her to be very pushy and she irritated me (I know there’s a spiritual thing there … long story) so I kind of kept her at a distance, even though we continued to invite her to all gatherings – she showed up at Sunday meetings a couple times, etc. I know she just wanted to fit in and be helpful, but there’s something about her that really irritates me and I don’t want to be near her. I know I’m not supposed to be that way, but I think it is a familiar spirit thing and I’m not the one to be working with her. She and her cousin Barb (one of my art studio artists), wanted to make cookies and did so. Anyway, she kept hounding me about the caroling events, dates, times, what we were doing, etc. and I shared it with her as I got the information. Somehow or another, she got it in her mind that I was in charge of this whole thing and was getting nitpicky with me about some things and I kept saying, “I don’t know, I’m not in charge,” yet somehow she kept missing the part I wasn’t in charge! Well, she ended up getting mad at me because of Dec. 4^th – she showed up at 6 with a couple people to sing, along with Max – they went to the school, but the rest of us were already headed for the float a few blocks away. Only about 5 or 6 people sang at the school and she got mad at me because I and the rest of the singers were not there! Anyway, I found out later that during that time, she got into an argument with Max and he took off.

The next day, I get this text message from her:

“Well, we did it! Thank you for the inspiration behind reaching Coos County for Jesus! [then she asked for info about the other caroling events and she was giving me all these instructions on how to pull off the Bandon event and telling me to keep my phone on to take calls from people she was sending to me, etc. and etc.] “since you are organizing the event and everything. …” 

Anyway, it REALLY pissed me off for some reason and I called her and lit into her. I know I wasn’t right in doing so, but I DO NOT LIKE BEING PRAISED FOR ANYTHING!! Putting that on me was really not a big deal, but I took it as such for some reason and it really made me hopping mad for days. I never told her I was in charge and I never said she could give out my phone number, etc. and etc. It doesn’t matter one way or another, I’ve been in charge of things before, but that wasn’t the point. Anyway, I kept telling her otherwise, gave her the schedule (where Bandon and Coos Bay were swapped on another poster – I think there was more than 1 person doing posters and got dates swapped – there was no coordination between anyone. Anyway, I had to repeat myself several times and she just wasn’t getting it and getting mad at me for giving her wrong info! So, in the end, I never saw her on the 4^th, I got back and she wasn’t there. She showed up at Pony Village Mall and then in Coos Bay, but was very subdued, didn’t really talk to me, but I was too busy trying to lead the singing. I guess, though no one said so, I became the leader for singing from the 4^th on. I about lost my voice several times. It just fell to me, no one knew or said, but it just happened that way. Somehow from the beginning, I knew that to be so that I was the appointed song leader as in leading the Israelites in battle song – it was a Biblical victory thing. She hasn’t talked to me (or visa versa) since. Like I told William, I don’t know what to do about this since I believe I am the wrong person to work with her. She is in serious need of deliverance.

William and I were sick in the weeks leading up to Christmas (I started getting sick the week of Thanksgiving with a head cold) – this flu acted different than others. William got the worst of it because of asthma, so his lungs got real full. I started with a head cold, it ended up in my chest and I had a harsh, severe cough for a couple weeks. To this day, I still cough too much with too much flem. Not only that, but both William and I lost our sense of smell and taste – everything tastes the same, and I know certain things should have had a strong smell, and we smelled nothing. Real weird. Also, to this day, William has way too harsh of a cough for the time it’s been and he’s still using his breathing machine several times a day. I had to go to the school 3 days a week anyway while I was sick (I think I had a fever for a few of those days prior, so while in school, I just had the severe cough), because Denesa had Jury duty and we are still unsure of our volunteers at the school – when their kids are gone, there go our volunteers! So we aren’t sure if we’re going to show up and find that we are the only ones there (which has happened a couple times) – we agree that one or the other of us has to be there at least part of every day. Anyway, William hasn’t worked since Nov. due to his back being out in Nov. for a couple weeks and then getting sick – I think he worked a couple days in between, but God has provided for all of our needs – 3 turkeys and 2 hams in the freezer – pulled off a great Christmas (and Thanksgiving) dinner!

Chris moving in with us early Dec. and John moving into our trailer in Oct. Now that was a story: John text us one Thursday in Oct. on our way to Prayer meeting, “help!” and that was it. So we immediately tried to call him, couldn’t get him, text him and found out he was on the side of the road with all his stuff having been evicted. So we spent the evening rescuing him. Soon after, Denesa hired him a couple days a week to deliver furniture for her furniture store. We had told him initially that he needed to take this opportunity living here with us, to save all his money to find his own place; however, as time went on, we realized he was spending it too fast, not saving, going to that new ceramic store and painting – all of which is his own business and choice; however, we told him our trailer is not a permanent solution.

Jon called us one day in early Dec. and said, “Chris wants to move up there with you. We’ll be there in a week. He finally quit the dollar store.” We saw this as an answer to prayer and a total miracle. Chris has been on the streets these past 4 years, lost and getting worse – schizophrenia, paranoia, living in the public bathrooms – locking himself in for days, refusing to communicate with family, then other times, expecting Jon and Jen to take him in days on end, etc. I guess, he one day recently, he crawled into his tent, opened his bible and got set free. Not 2 days later, Jon shows up with Chris on our doorstep! We were just getting used to the idea let alone doing something about it (clean up the downstairs room, etc.)! Anyway, we were shocked yet joyful that he was set free and in out of the cold. I’ve noticed ever since, how clear-minded, God-seeking, joyful, and interacting normally with us he has been. What a total miracle!

Also in October, my daughter moved in with my mom. Mom has almost been totally bedridden for months now, her roommate Debra died last month, Albert is getting sicker from cancer of the lungs, etc. and is sleeping almost more than mom these past few months. Anyway, I’m glad Laura moved in with her so she could get the care she’s been needing; however, Laura, unfortunately, has turned into her father – that over-controlling, evil spirit that was on him, seems to be worse on her. Between her rebellion from age 18 on getting worse and worse in deed and heart, she is not my daughter – the daughter I raised is not evident in her. Last Aug. when I went to visit her (first time I’ve seen her since 2016), I could not believe how dark she had become. Spiritually, physically – I saw no love, no joy, no happiness whatsoever, no warmth, no familial ties, no words even to express such, etc. She’s even worse now. Where William and I were gaining ground with my mom Spiritually and Politically – she was actually listening to us and saying she believed what we were saying, etc., Laura comes in and completely tears it all apart – not even mom talks to me much anymore, let alone Laura. I told mom I was coming down for the days before Christmas to visit her somewhere around Thanksgiving. She was excited, yet gripped that I wasn’t staying longer as well as through to her birthday – celebration the whole time. I told her I couldn’t due to other obligations and she gripped that I put others before her, etc. and etc. Anyway, the end of it was that not only her, but Laura yelling so in the background, “you cannot come in here without wearing a mast the entire time.” I said no way. Now, this entire past year-and -a -half, she has never once asked me to wear a mask around her, nor was she hesitant (even in Aug. when I saw her) to hug me, etc. Now, she’s like Gestapo insisting! No, it was a Laura, being a control freak over mom now – she has taken charge (the devil sent in some big guns to block mine or William’s words of salvation from getting through) like a gate keeper now keeping me out. Prior to my visit to the valley, Laura was very guarded in conversation with me, and very short and vague. After I was home, she was all jovial and chatty – it is she who does not want to see me! That was the situation last October when both Laura and Kelly came to mom’s – they really didn’t want to see me but they all plotted together to make me out to be the bad guy and in the end, coming within 1 hour drive from my house, yet made no effort to see me. (the spirit in them knows the Spirit in me will whoop them)!

Arrived in the Rogue Valley Dec. 22^nd – stopped, almost like last minute, literally, at Steve's house. He had just gotten home and was still outside, hadn’t even gone in yet. He was so excited to see us. I had noticed when we got there, he was stooped over more than usual, looked sad and lost. But after our hour-long conversation, he was so perked up and happy looking. I felt that there were angels in the room the whole time, that when we came in there, there came light, and as we talked, we got more and more excited in the Lord – I believe our last minute stop was God-inspired and Steve was blessed! What’s cool, is that he invited us to the Medford Gospel Mission (where he volunteers) for their Christmas dinner. I was so surprised and impressed on the improvements on the place. Not only was the dining room like a restaurant, but the ladies delivered the food to us – very good. Not only that, but the whole place had been modified and refurbished.

Next, stopped to see mom, she refused to see me (whole episode over mask), got signed paper work for my house (I had mailed her a form earlier in the week), from her dresser, she was in bed with her back to me, awake, but refusing to turn over. When I went into the house, I was rather shocked to notice it was all dark entirely, no fire was going in the fireplace, and not a person was to be seen anywhere. I noticed that Karen’s dog was yapping in the driveway, right under the loft apartment (where Albert now lives). No one seemed to be about. Now, I wonder, is Laura really taking good care of mom? Mom refusing to talk to me when I called the 25^th and 27^th; however, she talked with Denesa when she called about the house on the 28^th and was very pleasant. Mom is being controlled by Laura as well. William and I have been doing warfare for their sakes ever since we realized what has been going on, and William especially, has been getting even more intense in this way over them.

Dec. 23 Christmas Caroling on the plaza in Ashland – after 9 years of being gone, very powerful. It has been raining pretty steadily all day, but William and I kept saying throughout the day, “it’ll stop while we are singing”. Sure enough, while we were unpacking the car, it was pouring. I had the 3 girls (Tamara’s) telling them to stick to me like glue all evening (and they did). About 10 or so people showed up with umbrellas, ready to sing (me and the girls also each had umbrellas). I talked to this one guy and my mouth took off without me again … he was asking what church was sponsoring this, and I said none, that we were just out to preach the gospel through Christmas songs, to re-take Ashland in the name of Jesus through our caroling, and on I went like that, which was all good and true; however, I ended it with “and we are the real deal.” And he stepped back with a surprised look and I realized how bad that sounded, even though I only meant to say that we were just out here doing what Jesus would do – I wasn’t meaning anything toward praising myself or any such thing, I just realized I must have sounded like I did – it wasn’t my intention! I did also say, “It will stop raining when we start singing, and it will resume when we stop.” And sure enough, that is what exactly happened!

Anyway, by then we had about 20 or so gathering. One group were all masked up, took the books, and when we started singing, they just looked at their books and would not sing. They backed away from us to the edge of the Plaza, stood there through another song, looking like they were confused and didn’t know what to do about this situation. They then ended up across the street doing the same thing. I lost track of them after that. When we started singing, an intoxicated man came into our midst (different than 9 years ago where he stayed on the outer parameter cursing God), this guy would sing, but when we got to anything about Jesus, or Emanuel, or the blood or cross of Jesus, he would freak out, scream, and wiggle around real weird. Throughout all of this, me and the girls were standing on the concrete boarder area above the people, leading in song. At the same time, an obviously Spirit-filled lady kept praying for and over him throughout caroling, William, I could see, was nearby, observing everything AND praying, in the end, he was set free, sobered up, and left his large, paper bag of weed behind.

Since it was Tamara’s birthday and she was working, we dropped the kids off at their house (dad was home) and went to the bar where she worked. We sat there for quite some time appalled and annoyed at the culture around us – how much people have changed/TV has changed over the past 40 years, etc. almost ready to call it quits, when Tamara finally shows up with a friend to introduce us – who when all gaga over William and his hair. Anyway, we ended up in the smoking lounge where she introduced us to her boss. There William and he get into this great discussion about God, really making an impact on both and Tamara. She had been struggle with God while lamenting the struggle of being a mom with a cheating boyfriend, etc. Yet, still holding back from God and the seeking she needs to do …

Anyway, back to the day before, after we left mom’s, we went to get Jon (he got off work at 3), then went to Tamara’s, came home the 24^th via 101 (5 ½ hour trip) due to snow on the pass, wonderful trip home, picnic (packed food – too broke) on the beach (Gold Beach), got home around 4 or so …

Problems and Issues

 

Oct. 9 – Laura’s been at my mom’s now a week and no one even called me! She had moved in with my mom, because mom is 82 and pretty much bed-ridden.  Laura has never called me since May – they came out to visit in Aug., I never got a call – found out from mom when they were arriving. Didn’t know she was planning on moving out here to move in with mom – until mom told me a week before the supposed arrival! Found out from mom, they were in Colorado the weekend of Sept. 25^th (moved from Indiana), kept waiting for a call that she arrived, finally called mom myself yesterday and found out she’d been there well over a week at that point! I said, “How come no one called me?” “Oh,” mom, said, “I didn’t know I needed to!” Wow, really? That’s how much they really care about me.

When we went down to the valley the first week of Aug.(when they came to visit) to meet Laura and the boys (I hadn’t seen any of them since 2016), they were sooooo cold to me! Like we were barely acquaintances rather than family! They were so cold-hearted – no family love or even a hint of caring whether or not I was there. They never called me ‘mom’ or ‘grandma’ – except Laura said ‘mom’ once. No hug, no kiss, no “gee, we missed you.” NOTHING! Cold as Ice! Even Tamara’s kids called me grandma several times when they came up to go swimming – right in front of them! Nothing from them! Barely even said ‘bye’ to use when we left. I cannot believe that they treat me that way!

Nov. 4 – we finally had a parent meeting for our school last night. (we started school Aug. 23 with 17 kids, 3rd - 11th grade).   I was so upset to know what lie had been going around about me … for a few weeks now, I had been hearing whispering from both parents and kids, my name popping up, etc., but no one would tell me anything! A few weeks ago, a parent accused me of losing her kid’s papers/work and not recording it – doing so on purpose even! I told her that was not the case, that I record everything that I grade, but I’m not the only one doing the grading! And I’m sure no one would not record it on purpose! In fact, I told her, at the beginning of the year when kids bombed tests/quizzes, Denesa and I agreed that we would give them another chance – we didn’t record the grade, but gave the papers back to the kids telling them to find the answers in their books, write it beside the wrong answers, send it back in, and we would give them a higher grade. This was all being done because the kids have almost no memory skills at all – we’re trying to help them by teaching them study habits and skills (most of the kids are at least 2 years behind in learning). In fact, I even started taking various kids aside and showed them how to organize a notebook (3 ring binder) with each category, put their quizzes and tests in there WITH the correct answers, so as to use these as study materials for future tests – since all are accumulative. As I was taking the 8th grade boy back to the cafeteria to do exactly that, a 10th grade girl mouthed off to me – told me I had no business taking him away (he was literally laying on the floor right before I got over there, messing around, annoying the other 8th grade girl) when he had work to do. I told her was I was doing and she said in a very sassy way, “you’re not going to take me to do that!”

I do not understand why those kids are so sassy to me when I’ve gone out of my way since May to help them – with their mother’s request no less!

Anyway, at last night’s meeting, I finally found out that the 8th grade boy had told his mom that while in the cafeteria, I told him, “no body must love you, you must not have anyone at home that loves you.” I was so shocked! I never even think that way, let alone say something like that to someone! She actually looked at me and all but called me a liar when I said I never said anything like that.

What gets me is that I volunteer my time, time I’d rather be sitting at home reading my books, doing my artwork, or whatever. I really don’t want to be teaching school again, but I’m doing what God told me to do! A whole year ago, the situation with these kids so bothered me that I was in constant prayer about the situation with the kids – their lack of learning, schools that failed them, children walking by with nothing to do, the lies they were believing, etc. God wouldn’t let me go about this whole issue – told me to start a school and when I prayed over the buildings in January, I specifically prayed over 503 Spruce St and told God, “if you want me to start a school, give me this building to do so!” and He did!!! A total miracle and I know God wants this school

I’ve always been an advocate for kids, building them up, not tearing them down! For someone to accuse me of saying such is horrible! I never would have said such a thing. All the other parents told me they thought Denesa and I were wonderful to have started this school and they were behind us all the way. Either way, we’ve lost 5 kids this past week due to these lies and this poison that’s been going around. What gets me is that the parents are teaching these kids how to quit rather than working out the issues (all they had to do was talk to us!) – Tuesday, all the kids knew that the 8th grade girls weren’t planning on coming back – it was their last day – but no one told us! One of their fathers was even there Tuesday volunteering and he never even said anything! Just turned in his key to one of the other parents and snuck outside! Total cowards! If this school wasn’t working out for them, all they had to do was say something! Not one word! I don’t even know why … was it because of the lies that were being told about me? Was it because the 8^th graders were still so far behind? They were both late starters and it took forever to get their books mailed to us, plus being without the video guides were a problem? They were slowly catching up. So what was it? As for that one parent and her kids – she taught the kids to be sassy and talk back to the adults – not just me, but the other adults as well. No one should put up with mean, sassy kids! They do need to apologize before they come back – but no, she's is keeping them home now and won’t even talk to anyone!

I don’t need these kinds of headaches, but God told me to start a school ….

Nov. 7 – I got a call from my granddaughter yesterday!!! What a surprise and a major blessing! She said she’d been wanting to call me for some time now. A few days ago, I guess she called, I didn’t recognize the number (TX) and didn’t answer. There was a message, but I couldn’t really understand it, sounded like a little kid, and something about calling her back if I wanted to. Anyway, I had no idea who it was and thought maybe a kid got a hold of parent’s phone and made a random call, so I ignored it. Yesterday, the phone rang, I picked it up in time to see a Texas number, I started to put it down and it left a voice message, so I started to listen to it when my phone rang again. It was her! Such a surprise. She said her mom was in the other room talking to her father on the phone and she was using the land line to call me. I didn’t ask how she got my number or if her mother knew she had called me. She told me a bit about herself – she was so excited to talk to me. She loves horses and gets to ride one, she loves looking at horses when they drive around – I guess there are many of them around. She also loves Science and loves to draw. I told her to e-mail me (I gave her my e-mail) and take pictures of her drawings and send them to me. I told her we’d stay in touch – she was very insistent and asked what my schedule was and when was a good time to call, etc.

I do wish her mom would call me and tell me why she won’t or hasn’t talked to me in almost 7 years …

More Attacks

 

William had been under a lot of oppression for a week or so, so much so it was muddling his mind. He had been acting rather odd, not his normal self and I should have caught on. Since our large cross had spent the winter outdoors (attached to our garden bed as a witness to the neighborhood), it needed refinishing before we could take it into our new school/church building. He was out sanding on it, then varnishing it on Thursday. At that time, my elderly art students came in for their weekly art lesson – Ralph hadn’t been coming since Feb. since his back was really hurting him and he was in a depression, so Thurs. was his first day back. He hobbled in with a cane really complaining. I asked William to come up and pray for him. As soon as William laid hands on his back, he felt the power of God enter in, but God kept pressing him to keep going with prayer (it may have taken upwards of ½ hr. or so, he was given the impression). Ralph, even though a professing Christian, he scoffed at William for his actions, but God kept pressing William to go on. Ralph’s pride was getting in the way, so William left him be and went back outside. In the mean time, our art lesson progressed and Ralph was starting to get free mentally and physically – I saw him sit up straighter and start his magpie chattering. I knew he was feeling better. In the mean time, William was out in the garage with God pestering him to go up and speak to Ralph and pray some more. William kept putting God off and saying, “ok, ok,” but kept working. Finally God spoke loudly and William said, “OK!” and came upstairs to tell Ralph something. Ralph tried to ignore William’s words, knowing them to be true, but too prideful to accept it; however, when Ralph left the house at noon, he was back to his chipper self, walking without the cane (but refused to acknowledge it, same with Barb) – he even went around to my garden to check it out (like he’s always done before).

Anyway, William was dealing with his own issues by that point (he didn’t realize until later, God was dealing with Pride in him as well). He went off to the store to get a couple things, came home and by 2 pm or so, lay down for a nap. He didn’t get up until after 5 or so, still out of sorts. We sit down for the evening, in our jammies to watch an old 1938 Charlie Chan movie, and about 7:30 or so, I looked out front and noticed the car wasn’t there. Figuring William left it at the side of the house, I asked him to move it around to the front. He went outside and couldn’t find the car. We looked everywhere around the house – no car! I assumed it was stolen, called the cops, filed a report, and went back to our movie wondering what the heck happened to the car! Like the cop said, “who would steal a 21-year old car, we never have car thefts around here anyway.” About 8:15 we get a call from the cops saying they found it in McKay’s parking lot (2 blocks away). We went running over there, and it was parked in a spot – the employees there having said it had been there since about 2 pm. William had drove it over there (which he never does for only a couple things from the store) and walked back home – totally (until that moment) forgetting he ever drove it!!! Needless to say, the cop and us had a good laugh about it.

The point was, when we notice the enemy all over us – we need to deal with it right then!! He had to go to God for repentance in his own prideful attitude he had developed over dealing with Ralph earlier that day AND realize how much the enemy had been tormenting his mind night and day for over a week by then.

Denesa and I had a great meeting (2 hrs.) at the school today. Got a lot accomplished between us for the workings of the school – the curriculum app turned in, so we can start our order. She’s going to pick me up one day this next week to take me to visit a couple of her ranches.